Undeniable

In honor of February 5th, Friday morning. Can't say it was quite a purple dawn with all these clouds though.

All-American Fajitas

Okay, so technically food isnt a "thing above," but it's pretty close for me. I did Dream Dinners about half of the past year and, while I'm grateful for the gift of time they gave me after a long day of work, I felt like a part of me had died. What cook-at-heart enjoys coming home to a pre-prepared, bagged, frozen dinner?

Lately I've been re-embracing my love of food, breaking out old recipes and forcing myself to set aside time for ingredient prep and cleanup. It isn't easy, but I'm learning that it's an important part of making me feel like me: To plan, create, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I'm not sure how I survived the past few months without this simple expression of self and love.

One of my favorite restaurant indulgences is chicken fajitas. I tried a few online recipes before settling on a combination of them all, adding a few ingredients and deleting a few along the way. The recipe below is so easy, quick, and cheap that every time I make it I wonder why we don't just eat fajitas every night of every week. Really, I know that sounds boring but this recipe is that good.

All-American Chicken (or Steak) Fajitas
1 tsp. chile powder
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1 Tbsp. cornstarch
1/4 cup water
1 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 lb. chicken breasts cut into strips OR steak cut into strips
1 green bell pepper; cored, seeded, cut into thin strips
1 yellow bell pepper; cored, seeded, cut into thin strips
1 red bell pepper; cored, seeded, cut into thin strips
1 medium onion, thinly sliced
Optional: 10-15 cherry tomatoes cut in half
Whole wheat tortillas
Condiments such as shredded lettuce, salsa, sour cream, shredded cheese

1. In a resealable plastic bag, combine chile powder, salt, cumin, garlic powder, cornstarch, water, and 2 Tbsp. of the oil. Add meat and veggies, seal, and knead gently to coat ingredients. Refrigerate for 15 minutes.

2. Heat the remaining 1 Tbsp. of oil in a large nonstick skillet until shimmering. Empty contents of the bag into the skillet and cook over high heat, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are crisp but tender and the meat is cooked through, about 6 minutes. Transfer to serving dish and serve with condiments.

Enjoy!

Who Da Man?

Yeah, yeah, so that slangy title is a little intense, even for me. Or maybe it's not even intense, just dorky. It just seems right for this post. You'll see.

The sermon at Crossroads today was the first in a series titled "Manly." Our pastor Brian Tome admitted that most of the series is meant to address only men, but a weekend service is the only time he can gather all the men in one meeting. He asked us women to sit tight, learn what we could, and try not to elbow our men with every lesson point.

Along with several hundred other wives in the service, I settled in and prepared to watch my husband get a good old fashioned kick in the pants.

But as Brian began to lay out the characteristics of a good man, I felt a gentle but strong kick in my own pants. As much as the points applied to Scott, the man of our house, they applied to me. God stood before me holding a mirror, reflecting the ugliness of an overbearing, pushy, man-destroying wife. With complete clarity, I realized that slowly and without intention, I've become the man in our house.

Looking back, I see exactly how my manhood progressed. When Scott and I first met, he was about as virile as men come. A star on the college baseball field and a humble and passionate servant of Christ, Scott met me when I was just a few months into my Christian walk. He taught me, encouraged me, and even led me as I learned about God and settled into a lifelong relationship with him. More than anything, I was attracted to Scott's steady strength. He was as excited about the gospel as he was about baseball and was as faithful as men come. A State newspaper article once described him as "stoic." Only a strong, stoic man could wrangle my passionate gypsy heart; I knew Scott was that man.

When college ended and our life together began, I was Scott's constant ally. As a team we set out with a mission to share Christ through the gift of Scott's baseball talent. My only purpose those first few years of our marriage was to make his life easier. I did my best to submit and support, trying to be the wife and partner God called me to be. I cooked, cleaned, and handled our finances, all without holding a job outside our home. I remember struggling to accept this role, pleading with God to let me be more than just a wife. It took three years, but by the end of Scott's professional baseball career in 2005, I had finally learned to embrace my position and submit in humility.

But you know how it goes: There's no such thing as mastery in the God's eyes. Comfort is a sure sign we should be looking around the corner for the next challenge.

The end of Scott's baseball career turned out to be the beginning of a power struggle in our home. While Scott went back to school to become a teacher and coach, I decided to take my turn in the driver's seat. Within a few months of moving back to Cincinnati, I took a full time job, started a small business with a friend, and volunteered to plan our church's Vacation Bible School. I reasoned that since Scott was always gone at school, work, or softball, I deserved to have something of my own for once. It's my turn, I remember thinking. Enough sitting in the shadows, letting Scott make the way for our family. It's my turn.

That sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Maybe even a little deserved? Oh, how quickly life goes awry when pride bubbles over.

On the surface I claim to believe 1 Peter 3:1-4: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

But deep down, I'm hardly a gentle and quiet spirit. I'm the epitome of the quarrelsome, contentious wife David mentions in Proverbs 25:24. Poor Scott would've been better living on the corner of a roof the past few years than in a house with me.

Outside our home, my strength looks exciting, challenging, even empowering. But behind closed doors, it's crippling. I say I want to be led, and then drop to the floor kicking and screaming when he tries to push gently at my back. Scott makes a decision, and then I question, argue, and doubt. He works hard earning above-average pay, and then I whine for more. More money, more time, more of him.

Scott tries to stand up and be the man, but over and over I kick him down.

On our way home from church this morning, Scott admitted that he made a conscious decision to stop fighting me. He said he recognized a few years ago that I only learn through my own mistakes and he resolved to let me make them. What a sad road for a marriage to take at just seven years. Reminds me of a line from a U2 song, The only pain is to feel nothing at all. I want to feel and I know he does, too. But how can he tell me when I don't stop whining long enough to let him speak?

Isn't it ironic that strength is one of the characteristics people say they admire most about me? I suppose it looks good to those who stand on the sidelines of life, afraid to stand up for themselves and get their hands dirty. Believe me, I know there's a God-given place for my strength, but I assure you it's not in my home.

As for me and my home, I was built to follow and Scott was built to lead. Scott's da man, I'm not.

You Can't Please Everyone

Thought I'd share the following devotional from Crossroads' The Daily on January 26. As a people-pleaser who habitually seeks approval and lives according to an artificial sense of responsibility, this message shot straight to my prideful heart. It also applies directly to a decision I recently had to make, but I'll elaborate when I have more time to write. For now, read this and stretch yourself a little.

Galatians 1:6-10
I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Paul understood this distinction. In Galatians 1:9-10, he says that God's good news for the world only comes through Jesus, and anyone who teaches otherwise should be punished. His words were just as shocking and unpopular then as they would be today. Clearly, the only approval Paul was concerned with was coming from God. We might not always win the approval of others (following Jesus can lead to choices and actions that are unpopular), but if we want freedom, God is the source.

Is there anything that God is asking you to do right now, but you're hesitating because other people may not understand or approve?

For the areas in your life where you seek approval from someone other than Jesus, ask him to fill those places with his love and approval. We are hard-wired to need approval. Our confidence, self-worth, and ability to thrive are directly connected to the level of approval we feel. The problem is that while approval from others feels good, it's never enough. But it's often the type we seek. Experiencing complete, life-giving approval only comes from knowing that Jesus chose to live and die for us.

Cheap Grace

Last Spring I came across the quotes below and they've been hanging out in my Drafts folder ever since. For months I've tried to create a post around these ideas, hoping to challenge and inspire anyone who might consider the concepts side by side.

Finally, after months of consideration, I'm posting without commentary and allowing these words to speak for themselves. Besides, what my thoughts next to Bonhoeffer and Wallis? Cheap, indeed.

German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer coined the term "cheap grace," or a form of grace that allows us to maintain the status quo without seeking God's justice for others. Bonhoeffer says, "cheap grace is not the kind of forgiveness of sin which frees us from the toils of sin. Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves."

Following this, Jim Wallis writes: Authentic grace means we do everything in gratitude because of what God has done for us. We're all just hopeless sinners in needs of God's grace, and we have nothing over anyone else - except that God has saved us. That's different from saying we somehow are blessed in our wealth, and there are those who haven't been blessed for whatever reason, and we want to now be a blessing to them. That's cheap grace. ... But the God of the Bible is a God of justice, not charity. Charity is just dealing with the symptoms of problems - feeding people, housing people, and clothing the naked. But William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, used to say that we can't keep picking up bodies at the bottom of the mountain and not climb the hill to see who or what is throwing them off the edge. Justice climbs the hill and tries to stop folks from stepping off the cliff.

Every Day There's A Chance

"Chance"
DC Talk

People watching, every life a mystery
Sunny faces, but you know the story's incomplete
Satisfaction, seems a million miles away

So I'm moving to another state of mind
I'm believing there's no better place or better time

Every day we live, there's a chance to give
Every time we speak, there's a chance for peace
Every day we live, there's a chance

Little sister, put aside your fear and breathe
In the secret, do you hear the voice of heaven saying:
Come together, hope is stronger than it seems
Where your standing there's no running out on love
Only human, but you've SET YOUR EYES ON THE THINGS ABOVE

Every day we live, there's a chance to give
Every time we speak, there's a chance for peace
Every day we live, there's a chance

A chance for you, a chance for me
A chance to serve, in a time of need
A chance to live, a chance to tell
A chance to lose yourself

Stand On Your Blessings

One man gives freely, yet gains even more;
another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.
A generous man will prosper;
he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
People curse the man who hoards grain,
but blessing crowns him who is willing to sell.
Proverbs 11:24-26

May we stand on the blessings we've been given to give blessings to others.